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Rita L. Van Hook
M.S. Social Gerontology
B. A. Psychology
This is an interactive website developed to support women going through midlife divorce. I invite everyone to participate in adding stories, blogs, tips, and useful information that can help all of our sisters get through this painful process with a less agony and hurt.
Maria Shriver, Elin Woods, Sandra Bullock, Jennifer Aniston, and Eva Longoria. What would I have in common with these women? It is not that I am beautiful, or wealthy, or a celebrity; it is however that I am a woman who has been cheated on by her husband. It makes no difference who you are; the pain of betrayal, the humiliation your family experiences, and the pain of divorce is devastating!
If you are at this site you must be going through the difficulty of divorce and looking for support. If this is your first visit I urge you to read through all of the pages offered on the left to get the maximum support.
Who even thinks about divorce after 60? I know I didn’t! Now I am in the depths of trying to manage life alone, a pain that is piercing, and a million questions with no answers. But I am determined like the Gloria Gaynor song “I Will Survive”!
After 24 years of marriage, successfully mentoring a blended family of six children, being honored and blessed with sixteen grandchildren, thinking I was happily married, retired from the work force, assumed financial security, constant reassurance from my husband that life is “GOOD”, it was my time to relax, enjoy, and explore my options, my husband dropped the proverbial BOMB. One day he said to me “I NO LONGER HAVE FEELINGS FOR YOU; YOU MAKE ME FEEL LIKE A FAILURE; YOU TALK DOWN TO ME; AND THEN JUST LOOKED AT ME!!” I then observed his long, blank, stare, and thought;
” WOW! WHAT A SHOCK!”
Needless to say I had no comeback at that time. I was dumbfounded. This was the man I married for better or worse, in sickness and in health, until death do us part. We did not ONLY marry once but after he converted to Catholicism we went through the con validation ceremony in the Catholic Church. We vowed that we would spend the rest of our natural lives together. We were best friends. We were soul mates.
That was then and this is now!
What I know today is that I struggled to find meaning to all of this. I prayed to God every day to walk with me through the valley of funk until I realized purpose and meaning on the other side. So far, He has to disappoint as He provides the strength to get noticeably stronger each and every day. My divorce was final on January 12, 2012. I am a happier person now; I am single; I make my own decisions. I no longer wait patiently for someone to come home and throw me a bone to keep me happy while he is living with a second family; taking care of them; spending joint marital assets, taking his third bride-to-be out to dinner and to Florida.
Now I take care of ME. I depend on the ONE person that is always in my corner!
Life does go on and things are better!
SO IF YOU ARE STRUGGLING WITH THE PAIN OF DIVORCE AND YOU WANT A FRIEND TO WALK WITH YOU; CONTACT ME AND WE WILL SUPPORT EACH OTHER.